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going through my entire contacts list alphabetically, texting each person one by one and just saying "its halloween"

enbies be like "hmmm hungry time for a snack" and then drink coffee


umm... 😳 sorry, umm... is it ok if i...? πŸ™ˆ uhm, πŸ₯ΊπŸ‘‰πŸ‘ˆ step on you and spit in your mouth? uwu


my kid refuses to eat when i say "it's time for breakfast/lunch/dinner," insisting "don't want dinner! want a snack!" and then i say "ok, it's time for a dinner snack" to which they happily agree

startup idea: a hammer for bonking yourself on the head. it costs $1000 and has a companion app (iOS only)

pictured: milf gulping down coffee as fast as they can when their kid wakes up screaming and running around at 6 am for the third day in a row

i have to be the most neurotic gremlin in this suburban grocery store for some reason

yesterday i was halfway through telling my girlfriend about my hades build and she fully just turned around and walked out of the room

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Starflower Space

hello! this is nova’s private server. most of the accounts here are alts of mine, with a few exceptions for close friends.