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oh you like video games? name every Entity_Type_Mesh

Someone dumped a huge pile of rock salt i the parking lot of this burger king Why did they do that

mooooom capitalism is co-opting my intentionally indigestible subculture again make it stop

yeah i definitely think of myself as a rebel, for instance, sometimes i stir the no-stir peanut butter,


when someone says "i just woke up" the appropriate response is "my condolences"


highlight of my day is my kid seeing a statue of a (presumably hetero) couple kissing and saying "those women are always kissing. i think they come here every day to kiss and then go home at night." to which i replied "i think that's a statue" and they said "nope. it's two women."

me at home depot: i need like, a witches broom? like a broom a witch would use? no i checked aisle 2 none of those brooms are right. fine. ok. well where do you keep the bomb fertilizer

feeling intense guilt when i forget how to quit and have to type "killall oneko" instead

one time i found a four leaf clover and three years later i got divorced so yeah im a true believer

opened lex and went "oh god the takes in this town are even worse, i didnt know it was possible" then realized my location was still set to seattle. oly seems nice

parenting (?) 

*explaining to my adult child* you have to understand, things were different then. everyone called themselves a "turbo milfslut." it wasn't a slur back then


based on the comments they make to me daily im pretty sure my kid is going to be a genius poster someday

im not a catgirl but if i get stressed out i *will* pee on your couch


for mother's day my kid gave me an upper respiratory infection

hold on. one sec. hrrrrrrnnnngggg *reinvents being gay from first principles* ok continue

sometimes when i get frustrated by e.g. my inability to open a jar of pickles i remember that i am a bundle of neurotransmitters encased in a freaky ape thing shell and as a consolation for receiving the curse of self awarenesss my kind has been given access to the domain of tools and i take the pickle jar out back to the shed where i keep the baseball bat and when i return although i have not achieved my original goal of eating a pickle my ape shell is satisfied that i have secured my position as apex predator within my kitchen

much like this frozen burrito with no expiration date listed, i too will live forever

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hello! this is nova’s private server. most of the accounts here are alts of mine, with a few exceptions for close friends.